Feb. 5, 2025 — Motuga Hostel, Bangkok

That red-eye flight was a bad idea. As a viewer of images, your physical and mental state affects how you look at pictures. So when you arrive from a red-eye flight lacking sleep, stomach hurting from an allegedly not-so-spicy kra-pao (it was spicy as hell), and cheap coffee not hitting, it might not be the best condition to look at images.

This isn’t my first time in Bangkok, but it’s the first time I get to experience the city on my terms. With only two days to explore Bangkok’s photoland, my only choice was to commit.

So I powered through to BACC (Bangkok Art and Culture Centre) to see what photo-related things they had.

Shwe Wutt Hmon’s exhibition, Myanmar Odyssey, shook me awake.

It presents three facets of Myanmar’s ongoing conflict. Forever Young focuses on Generation Z and how they navigate the unrest. Portraits of the Anonymous highlights lens-based practitioners in Myanmar documenting the conflict, risking vulnerability to tell the stories that must be shown. And Permission to Stay is Shwe’s reflection on holding one of the world’s weakest passports and the constant limbo of navigating life in Thailand.

Shwe takes an active approach by creating space for others to express their experiences. Her work not only protects their identities but also centers the conflict on them.

After viewing the images, I sat on one of the upstairs benches to let it all sink in. It achieves photography’s fundamental aim: to document and inform.

I doomscrolled for a bit. Looked up more news about Myanmar. Dropped my phone. Drafted a few words for this newsletter and IG. I thought I was familiar with the conflict, but this gave it a new dimension.

I couldn’t help thinking about the Philippines about our current situation.

Yes we have weak passports but it’s not that bad. Sure we have a dictator’s son as a president and he’s tanking the economy but we still have an economy. What would I do if there were a military takeover? Wait a minute, the Lumad peoples are already getting bombed too! We are not doing enough! How would I act? Would I resist? I know I’m a coward, but I would try. Can we really trust the younger gen? Is there a way to stop all of this?!?!?!

I had to pull myself back and stop catastrophizing. I placed my bag in the free lockers and told myself to check out the rest of the exhibitions. I can only control what is in front of me. I can feel sad about the world, and at the same time, I can fix it by taking care of my well-being. I will face it when it comes. For now, my heart will go out to the Burmese people.

My therapist would’ve been proud of my train of thought.

I went upstairs to wander around. Admittedly, my mind wasn’t paying much attention to the rest of the Bangkok Art Biennale. Thoughts about Myanmar, home, and sleeplessness lingered.

It was only upon seeing the familiar work of Amanda Heng that I snapped back into focus. I had the chance to meet and photograph Amanda a few years back during an exhibition at the Vargas Museum.

Her work, Always by My Side, spans three life stages leading up to her mother’s passing—capturing care, femininity, and familial bonds. When I photographed her, what stood out was her warmth and lightness. These qualities radiate through the images as they confront mortality and the roles we inherit.

Another standout wasn’t part of the Biennale itself: Dow Wasiksiri’s portraits of exhibiting artists. Not the usual plain backgrounds or dramatic black-and-white headshots bordering on LinkedIn safe, but quirky, contextual portraits that carry the full history and vibe of each artist.

Honestly, I spent more time on these portraits than some Biennale works. I keep telling myself to be more open to other forms of art, but I’m biased. Pictures are still my home.

Then there was Princess Maha Chakri Sirindhorn’s exhibition, Finally Free.

Her photographic reflections on the lifting of lockdown restrictions. And I love it.

I remember a college conversation about tiers of opulence: social media flexing is probably B tier. Everybody does it. Hiring a photographer to photograph your vacation or even is A tier. Then… using billboards as your personal Instagram is probably S tier. Exhibiting your photos in this manner falls in that tier for me.

One of photography’s tenets is that your images reflect your lived experience. So, of course, a monarch photographs the world of a monarch. The trick is to understand it not by comparing it to the typical work you see online, but by considering her access, position, and how she uses photography.

Her images hold humor, banality, and affection for her country. Oddly, they also hold authorship. She might be one of the few monarchs publicly sharing her photography. If there’s a chance, I’d love to own one of her photobooks someday.

I was really beat by this point. Grabbed lunch at Som Tam Nua and made my way to the hostel in Talad Noi.

I was smitten by this neighborhood the first time I visited. It reminds me of the best parts of Manila, mixed with what makes Bangkok charming: An eye for the past while embracing eccentricities of the future.

What sold me was the Charoenkrung walk—photographic prints hung on the walls. These aren’t the types of images I usually seek out, but I appreciate them. They’re a love letter to the neighborhood, and a way for tourists like me to engage with it. I hope they preserve or refresh the prints.

As soon as I checked in, took a quick bath, and then crashed in my hostel bunk, 11 glorious hours of sleep.

The next day was more touristy. Not as photography-heavy, but it was nice to do things at my own pace.

I had breakfast at Hugs Songwat. What pulled me in were the gravel bikes parked outside. Inside, I found a piece by a Thai artist that reminded me of my friend Sean Olalo aka @MyNegativeFeelings. Zines and photos were tucked all around—exactly the kind of “bikes, pictures, and meaningful trinkets” setup I love.

Another cycling-related stop was Bicycle Boys, featuring images of NYC bike culture. They even stock Calling in Sick, a bike culture zine I follow.

People criticize photography as decoration, but I don’t mind, depending on the context. A photo of someone’s grief shouldn’t become decor, sure (or maybe as a form of subversion, why not?) But for these particular prints? They’re cultural identifiers. They mean something to the community that owns them.

One final photo encounter: a wall I saw while walking.

Why do Thai monarchs seem cool? Maybe it’s because I’m looking from a Filipino perspective, where we don’t have monarchs but have politicians who act like royalty.

This wall wasn’t a state-mandated display. Someone chose to put it up. Why those images? Reverence? Parasocial relationship? It left me curious and will be at the back of my head every time I look at Thai photography.

Two days aren’t enough for Bangkok’s photoland. I missed the photography museum, barely visited Fotoclub BKK, and still haven’t been to Vacilando bookstore. Based on what I’ve seen, the Thais’ use of photography has similarities with the Philippines, particularly its use case as a form of expression. I wish we could have the same level of institutional support. Then again, it doesn’t hurt that one of the most prominent figures of the country has a relationship with photography. I’m pretty sure I have much to learn about Thailand anyway. I’ll surely be back or at least find a reason to be.

For the trip, I’ll probably skip the red-eye flight.

Onwards to the main event of this trip— Angkor Photo Festival and Workshops, Siem Reap.

Speaking of Bangkok

My friends from Bad Eyes Collective will be conducting an intensive 5-day photography workshop. Why not explore and understand your photography while being in one of the best cities for it.

Here’s the full info:

Death and Rebirth: A 5-Day Photography Workshop

Organized by @badeyes.collective

This workshop challenges you to question, reflect, and push your practice through intensive critique sessions and discussions. Over five days, engage deeply with your work, explore new perspectives, and refine your visual language through learning, unlearning, and critical exploration.

Special Guest: @kamonlak.sukchai

Kamonlak Sukchai will share her process and approach, offering insights into how she navigates her practice.

Workshop Details:

Dates: 2nd-6th June 2025

Fee: 12,000 Baht per participant

Limited to 6 participants

Language: English & Thai

Mentors:

Harit Srikhao @haritsrikhao

Natthaya Thaidecha @maiheartnandsoul

Daniel Huete @danielhuete

Application Period:

Open: May 12 – Close: May 24, 23:59 PM (Bangkok Time)

Location: Bangkok, Thailand

Venue: TBA

How to Apply:

Portfolio: 20 images representing your current work or direction

Email us replying to this question(English or Thai)

Why is photography important to you?

Submission: Send all materials to badeyes.collective@gmail.com

Announcement of selected participants: May 28th

—

This is a fantastic opportunity. Feel free to contact Bad Eyes on their Facebook or Instagram for more info.

See you in Part 2 of my SEA on the road series.

• A.g.

Geloy Concepcion sits anxiously at the corner of Purveyr’s space. One of the many meet-ups and get togethers that he has been a part of for this leg of his return. Present in the audience for this one are practitioners from different genres, styles, and experience level. The emcee, Veejay Villafranca started with the title of the talk itself: “so Geloy, what’s next?”

Geloy’s response: Hindi ko din alam mehn?!

(I have no idea man)

The Fotomoto opening was a huge success. Amazing turnout, lots of friends and colleagues, and lots of press people in the event and in a major museum no less. I’ve spoken in the Ayala Museum before but it’s the first time I will be exhibiting there. It was overwhelming from the crowd to the scale of what it was to how it is now. It’s weird that this event is what officially opened the PH Arts Month/Fair Season. There’s still a lineup of events and a few others here and there. To be honest, I have no idea how to write about this season as the scene is as big as I remember it to be.

I expressed these anxious feelings to Fotomoto curator Stephanie Frondoso in which she replied:

“Isn’t this what we were all working towards?”

She is right.

I can’t remember who asked the question but somebody asked Geloy in the What’s next talk if how much is too much when it comes to sharing yourself. He answered in the typical humorous manner he always does. He imparted that the game now, if you are willing to play, is social media presene. You have to be in places where you want to be seen.

Although the follow up question is the one that I want to stick to you my dear reader. Veejay asked if there are downsides to showing too much of yourself.

“Meron din siyempre pero tanggap naman ni Bea (Geloy’s wife) at inuunti-unti ko na din si Narra (Geloy’s daughter). Sila kasi nagpapakain sa amin eh. Pero kasalanan din natin eh. Sabi natin magpakatotoo ka lang. Oh eh di ayan.”

(There are downsides of course but Bea knows about this already and i’m starting to show it to Narra as well. It’s the audience that gives us this opportunity. Then again, maybe this phenomenon is our fault since we kept on saying “Be yourself”. So this is the result of that.)

Radical acceptance through relentless sincerity. I like that.

The live edition of Raw and untitled critique sessions was anxiety inducing but fun. It is different from the portfolio review format that feels like speed dating. This is somewhat closer to Shark Tank as we give our insights and comments in real time.

For our closing words, Veejay Villafranca reminded the audience the importance of events like these especially to keep conversations going. I went with the selfish route of telling everyone to enjoy everything and trust the process as this time last year, I was nursing a broken collarbone.

Our youngest co-panelist, a young, talented, and award winning Austin Garcia said this (among other things):

“Photography has become my passion and I just want to do this forever.”

Then let’s find ways to make it possible for everyone.

I’m currently on the road on a backpacking trip to Bangkok, Siem Reap and Kuala Lumpur mainly to volunteer for the Angkor Photo Festival 20th edition. I’ll be writing and showing some stuff I see/observe on the road. Follow the reading photographs instagram for updates and subscribe to the newsletter for the latest. Thank you.

Riding the Wave

We are living in a great era of Philippine photography right now. There’s so much energy and activity happening.

I haven’t lived through the 200-year history of photography and the almost century of photography in the Philippines, but this feels like the most dynamic period for the medium ever. Photography-related events are abundant—so many that I often have to choose between them. From photo clubs and street photography groups to galleries embracing the art form, there’s no shortage of talent or compelling work. The annual fair season, in particular, has become the largest photography showcase since 2020.

Filipino photographers are also making waves internationally. Wawi Navarozza received widespread acclaim for her New York exhibits, while Veejay Villafranca served as a World Press Photo jury member, participated in the Gwangju Biennale, and capped the year with the Jeju Biennale. Jes Aznar joined the Jeju Biennale as well, earning a strong response at an auction of his print depicting Imelda Marcos listening to Here Lies Love for the first time. Closer to home, Hannah Reyes and Geloy Concepcion delivered powerful homecoming exhibits through Tarzeer.

These accomplishments complement my favorites of the year. Highlights of 2025 include Artu Nepomuceno’s Cathedrals of Light and Renzo Navarro’s Who Needs a Blade. On a personal note, my collective, Flint Photo, had an equally busy year. We released a zine, concluded our Firestarter program, and organized multiple slideshows. The writing scene is going well too, with LK Rigor’s presentations, Insights 2 by Toni Cuesta, and countless other contributions.

The Three Responses of Filipino Photography

The works this year reaffirm the three key responses of Filipino photography I’ve been digging about lately: the colonial, memorial, and communal. These responses reflect our collective reckoning with history, trauma, and identity.

The colonial aspect explores our reaction to and development under colonization. The memorial focuses on "post-memory," grappling with inherited traumas from events like martial law, conflicts, and climate disasters. The communal embodies our lambing (tenderness) and bayanihan (community spirit), evolving into pakikibaka (revolutionary action). I will be talking about this in an upcoming presentation for the Jeju Biennale. I will post the info below.

Raising the Ceiling

If the activities are any indication, Philippine Photoland seems untouched by the global recession. But where will this energy take us? While we’ve successfully raised the floor, it’s high time to raise the ceiling.

Talent is abundant, but the field needs professionalization. Can camera brands pay their speakers and Photowalk leaders? Can publications streamline processes to ensure timely compensation? Can institutions support residencies and workshops without relying on constant fundraisers or print sales? Most importantly, can the industry treat its image makers with dignity?

This isn’t just about financial sustainability. It’s about valuing and respecting the work that photographers bring to the table. Energy, if left unused, dissipates or worse blows up in our faces. Institutions, organizations, and corporations must seize this opportunity to channel the community’s vibrancy into impactful programming.

One way forward is to encourage photographers to tell stories that draw them in rather than adhering to convenience. Embrace the stakes and live through the struggle of making. Storytelling, not just technical exploration or grand exhibitions, should anchor future endeavors. We also have to standardize best practices despite being tedious in pre-production paperwork and post-production follow-ups. And of course, we have to carry ourselves with confidence in a manner that fits the situation.

Carve and Create Your Wins

On the flip side, perhaps the answer lies in embracing grassroots efforts. Community-organized print sales and fundraisers might foster a deeper connection with the public than corporate sponsorships ever could. These initiatives allow creators to lead by example, showing how meaningful work can thrive in challenging conditions.

Ultimately, contemporary life demands participation in capital, but this doesn’t mean surrendering our ideals or tenderness in creation. Navigating this balance will define the year ahead.

Whether through building platforms, launching new projects, or learning more about the craft, now is the time to act. Create your wins. Harness the energy of this moment and let it carry you forward. Despite how you move this year, move with kindness, tenderness, and consciousness.

Have a great year ahead!

Upcoming News/Events:

Jeju Biennale 2025 “Drifting”—This edition centers on drift. As mentioned, I will be doing an online presentation for the Biennale on January 18, focusing on the responses of Filipino photographers as we drift along with history. I will post links soon!

Flint Slideshows Vol. 6 — We will be having a slideshow on January 18 over at Convenience Coffee Shop in Makati. Coinciding with the ongoing exhibition with Fotomoto, we will be showing personal work. This is going to be our first show in the Makati area so hopefully you can all attend. Details and poster to follow soon!

Angkor Photo Festival 20th edition — I’ll be present (and possibly volunteer) for the Angkor Photo Festival and Workshops this Feb. 7-16. It will be a homecoming for me as it’s my first time back in Siem Reap since attending the workshop in 2014! Long story So if you’re looking for a festival to attend, make your way to Siem Reap and join in the programs. Here’s a link to a handy travel guide for festival attendees! See you there!

Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur Photobook/Exhibition Hunting - Since there are no direct flights from Manila to Siem Reap, I decided to backpack. Bangkok —> Siem Reap —> Kuala Lumpur. I’m looking for suggestions of where to look at photobooks, photography exhibitions, or anything photography-related. So far for Bangkok I have Vacilando and Fotoclub BKK. For Kuala Lumpur, I will check out Zontiga and there will be an exhibition on Japanese Photography by Japan Foundation KL that I might be able to catch. I think there’s also an exhibition by Ian Teh at the time so I hope to catch that.

So yes, Please send me KL and BKK Photoland places to go and things to do!

And Finally….

One more slideshow by the end of Feb or early March. I will talk about it once finalized but I’m pretty excited about that one so stay tuned.

But yes, all this travel means I’ll be missing the ArtFair season here in Manila. It's the first time in years that I’m going to miss it, so I won’t have an exhibition report. However, I’ll try to make dispatches while on the road.

I realized I had the privilege of witnessing many photographers and how they work. Specific details might be wrong but take this as my testimony. This is coming from a place of admiration. These are my first-hand accounts and I’m writing them as a way for me to remember how each of them use the medium.

Edwin Tuyay

Where: Bohol 

What: Street photographs and portraits (Corporate book project for a bank)

When: 2012

Street photography has always been about capturing moments. Observing Edwin Tuyay challenged that notion for me. I’ve seen amateurs move as if they are on the hunt. But for Edwin, he was basking in everything. 

I was the account executive at the time and he was the assigned photographer for a book project based in Bohol. Every destination we go to, he approaches it with joy and curiosity. I remember him conversing with everyone he met. He was asking about their job, their town, what they found interesting, and anything else. My favorite question of his is when he asks what they are most proud of. It was coming from a place of genuine interest in another human being.

In sittings, his way of conversing is not interrogative. He finds a way to disarm his subjects by finding what makes them laugh. He doesn’t seem like an authority or intimidating. He is being himself. When all else fails he makes them mirror his pose but he exaggerates it to the point that it makes the person laugh. Portraits are about power dynamics. Allowing himself to be vulnerable, makes the people feel like themselves. No wonder presidents from Cory, Erap, Duterte, and the biggest business people were comfortable to have their photographs taken by him. They feel he gives up the power that the camera gives back to the subject when all along, that is how he makes the shot.

That learning, humility, and curiosity fuels his enjoyment of walking in the streets. He’s not on the lookout for compositions, characters, and intent. It’s as if he is in it because he gets to interact with the world. Walking the streets of Tagbilaran with him was fun! It was the epitome of having fun with photography. What I remember the most from that work trip was when I asked how he didn’t seem disturbed by what he photographed in his journalism days, he told me “G, of course, you have to compartmentalize it but I just believe that people are good.” 

I guess that’s what makes Edwin Tuyay different. He savors each moment and has faith in the world.

Wawi Navarozza

Where: W Studio/Thousandfold Library, Taguig

What: Still Life/Self Portraiture

When: 2015(?)

I always admire Wawi because she knows how to present and carry herself. She embodies her work (I mean, her material is herself! So it checks out!) Like her tableaus, she makes it look effortless when in truth, there is so much work behind it. 

We were preparing for something (I think it was Art Dubai for her and the Cebu zine fair for me which occurred at the same time). She was already in the middle of the shoot when I walked in. The studio was not as chaotic. I remember the plants and fabrics are everywhere. Somebody not familiar may feel that this is a mess. 

She was fixing things, checking the angle, and arranging the set. So many things happened even before pressing the shutter. Her movement looked balletic.

If we take modern art standards, this can be performance art. Seeing all that made me realize that photography is a choice. The deliberateness of photography to get what is in front of it (even if staged) is a worthy pursuit. There is something about the still image that is compelling. It can pause the viewer from something taken from reality and make it linger. Joel Meyerowitz puts it, that photography is a vessel of an idea.

This all happened in less than 5 minutes. It was quick. I think it means that it was already in Wawi's head. It was about executing it while being open to the possibilities.

We want back to packing and preparing what we need for our respective conferences.

Joseph Pascual

Where: Various locations

What: Commissioned Portraits

When: 2020’s

My wife is a make-up artist and I tend to assist her with out-of-town clients. Usually, it happens in their vacation homes or a beautiful location. I’m always happy to see when Joseph Pascual arrives.

He never brings an army of assistants or a plethora of lights. He only brings what he needs. His lighting is simple but he looks and navigates the space well. 

His ultimate tool is calmness. He turns the space into his domain but it is welcoming. Everyone who sits in front of his camera is at ease. He has an amazing way of making his sitter comfortable. I remember watching YouTube tutorials and in how-to books saying you have to dial up the energy. I feel that it has its place but it isn’t how Joseph approaches portraiture. His calming presence is what makes the people open up. It’s as if the power dynamic is equally distributed to everyone on the set. The people he photographed never felt conscious. Watching him feels like listening to a 5-minute meditation video.

A notable moment for me was when one of the clients had a wall full of family pictures. Memories from vacations, life events, and beautiful moments. He placed the person in that space looking at the pictures they had. It was a way of acknowledging what that person has. Surely Joseph's new portrait will earn its place there. A full-circle moment of understanding that person. Looking at his portfolio, I think he does this often even on a location. He places his sitter in a space that feels like “them” to bring out who they are.

I feel there are many ways for a photographer to open up but Joseph’s approach is something I wish I could do on my own. A balance of craftsmanship and honoring the person sitting in front of his lens.

Kevin Kunishi

Where: Rappler office

What: Maria Ressa for Bloomberg Weekly

When: 2017

I remember lying in my bed at 6:00 am coming off a long all-nighter covering Poison Wednesdays. I got a text that Kevin needed a last-minute assistant to photograph Maria Ressa. I just got married and needed all the money I could get. I said yes. Being an admirer of his book on Sandinista rebels, I might as well see an opportunity to look at how he works.

I had to do the usual assistant stuff. I set up lights, prep the gear, mark spots, and stand in as the model. The particular interest why I am making this account is this: In the entire time we were scouting and I was setting up the lights, he was firing away. He was constantly looking and making changes. Dialing his settings. He filled up an entire card of compositions, lighting tests, and whatnot. It’s the first time I’ve ever experienced that. I can remember how he kept looking for angles and changing the position of the lights. At one point, he was partially covering the lens with his hand. It turns out it creates a subtle foreground effect. It looks weird and my description doesn’t do it justice (it works well with a telephoto lens so give it a try if you can). The meticulousness and the volume he was planning with no regard for storage space is something I haven't seen before. He wasn’t even in burst mode.

In retrospect, I should have asked why. I was half asleep at that point. I guess that we had the time and he maximised it. Maria was held up with prior appointments. Shoot should have been done by lunch but we started around 3 pm. At one point, I dozed off while standing in one of the spots. He laughed but I was annoyed at myself. I downed more coffee.

Finally, Maria was free for the shoot. Since we had everything dialed everything was ready. Kevin had a brief conversation with Maria about their common acquaintances and then went on to explain what he wanted. It was quick. 

As soon as Maria stood in our first spot (eventually became the cover) Kevin went into a zone. He gave quick and direct instructions. Nothing quirky or facade of “making it light” for the person like you see in YouTube tutorials. Direct and easy-to-digest instructions. It’s as if all the prep time we had was for pre-visualization and rehearsal. He knew what he wanted for each frame and layout. Sure there was occasional banter here and there but it was pure focus. I guess it got to me because I also went with the flow of things. We made many layouts in 35-40 minutes. And he made a lot of frames for each!

I was surprised because it was the first time I saw someone turn it on like that. Usually, there’s a warm-up period where you go slow and ramp it up especially if you are given the time. The thing is he was just in that mode already. It’s as if he didn’t care about anything else except the act of photographing. No care for storage space, distractions, and other things. The closest metaphor I can think of is in basketball when a player checks in the game, sinks 6 three-point shots in an absolute heater, and then leaves (Think Steph Curry). Game won. It felt something like that.

I crashed into my bed as soon as I got home.

The next day, I was digesting what I had seen and still can’t get over it to this day. I’m happy I’m finally putting the story into words.

Assignment-based photography is about delivering. Know what you want and make it so. Photography and basketball have one thing in common: shooters shoot.

Almost 10 years ago, I met up with my buddy, Marco. He was photo assisting Kevin Kunishi at the time. He was working on the archives, sorting things out, and the usual shoot day stuff. After his long day, we went out for beers. He brought up something that was lingering in my head for a while. As he finished a sip, he turned to me and said, “I just realized something was off with Garry Winogrand.” 

“He was a genius but an asshole” I quickly responded. 

“Not just that. He loved photography above everything. That’s what it takes.” Marco replied.

This was around the time of Garry Winogrand’s San Francisco retrospective. I assume this got brought up as Kevin Kunishi has San Francisco roots (He is also one of the most hardworking photographers I have ever witnessed working but I’ll reserve that for a different story). I allowed the thought to linger in my head. One of the most prolific photographers whose legendary status was gained through his way of working and interacting with the world. Constantly on the lookout, not caring if his camera is off the horizon, using his to the point that his hands have imprinted themselves on it. He is off-putting and confrontational. Yet Szarkowski calls him the greatest photographer of his generation. He is remembered dying with thousands of rolls left behind.

Hardly anyone knows that he has three children and was divorced twice. I wonder if they call him a genius when they need him to be a father.

As I finished the thought in my head I responded, “I guess like most things in life, what are you willing to do to get what you want?” 

We suddenly listed down photographers and their achievements. Noboyushi Araki: Genius but never re-married and has no children. Masahisa Fukase: Amazing vision with his books but is notoriously manipulative of his partner and family. Arbus: Allowed herself the pain of others but committed suicide. Ren Hang: The vision of his generation but also committed suicide. 

We even examined local photographers. We all found one thing clear: to be able to reach the highest levels of photography, you have to give something up. 

And for what? Photography hardly fulfills a capitalist need. Newsrooms are closing down. Creative agencies are opting for generated imagery. Freelancing has hardly been about photographing too. It’s about building connections and business acumen. Perhaps that’s why Winogrand is regarded as legendary. A simple tool like the camera allowed him to do great things. But for what?  What does this high level of photography bring anyway? Fame? Notoriety? Ego? Photography doesn’t make you win capitalism. For all my years studying and engaging in photography, I don’t know anyone who got billions through photography alone.

Then Marco threw the question at me. “How about you? What do you want to achieve with photography”. I sighed. “I don’t care if I get remembered,” I told him. “I want to have a family though. It doesn’t matter what people would think about my work, writings, or everything. But I want my family to know I loved them and was there for them.”

At that point in my life, I’ve been a professional for less than a decade, and reading photographs as a platform has only been around for a few years. I’ve only started a relationship with my now wife. Photography was the only other constant in my life.

Fast forward to today, I finally achieved what I always wanted: to have a family. 

I quietly celebrated the 10th year of reading photographs existing last May. After leaving academia 2 years ago, I’ve been pondering what would be next. Admittedly, my freelance photographer work hasn’t picked up again and I wish I had more time and money to get into working on this regularly. It made me wonder what success means when you are engaged in photography.

Awards? Publications? Exhibitions? Notoriety? Followers? Ego? Immortality?

Maybe the answer isn’t too deep and it’s most likely our capitalist society’s metric for measuring anything, money.

But ideally, it’s the continuous pursuit of doing photography. 

One of the questions I raise when I look into photographic work these days is what makes a work possible. Not just a question of financing but what was the sum-total of decisions that led to the creation of the image. More than the intent, I’m starting to think that intent is overrated. I’m more interested in the motivation. Why this exact picture of the near-infinite things a human can do? 

The beauty of the artistic pursuit is that you can set the standards you want to create your desired work. Photography is one of the best things that can accompany your life. I never regretted any photograph I made. I guess that is why I chose this platform in the first place. It has been my companion for understanding and making sense of my love of photobooks and photography (especially if made in the Philippines or the region). I’ve seen trends come and go. Works started as ideas and ended up as exhibitions. I’ve seen countless pictures that tickled my brain and showed me the depths of despair, and evidence of human actions. The scene started as a niche within a niche to now a full-blown photoland.

This platform has enabled me to share what I know in different countries and connect through stories and images. Maybe my favorite achievement yet, putting what I believe into practice establishing a fine arts college, and designing a photography program for a university. I think I did pretty ok considering 70% of what I know as self-taught through application, listening to people, and reading books. I think I did pretty well considering I don’t upload as much. I wish I could or did though. But like I said, life takes precedence over pictures.

Which brings me to what’s next for reading photographs. Allow me to be existential and ask myself, were the past 10 years worth it?

In capitalist terms, hell no. But in experiencing life terms, it’s been beautiful. There’s been struggle of course but it’s overall beautiful. The only thing I want to change is I hope I have the mental strength to not be afraid to say what I want and get out of my head. My head has always been in the way because of excessive worry that I wish I can just turn it off. Not because I want to save Philippine photography or grow it through exchange or conversations. To stand on what I believe in that gave me so much in life. Something as simple as things made with glass in a box with light-sensitive materials can be vessels for ideas, stories, and histories. I have to admit that I have been burned out by all of it. I’ve questioned why I keep this going when there are now better writers, more thoughtful critics, and other keen figures in the scene. There was no one I could turn to when I started. I had to look overseas for help and ask people if I’m going in the right direction. The question “Why specialize in photography?” is always asked and I don’t have a clear answer. I don’t even know what I offer except I like the medium. I started this thing as a way to express my love for photobooks and works of photography. It’s best to not lose sight of that.

I suppose it’s not too late to figure it out. After all, I finally got what I wanted most in this life. Maybe it’s time to give this platform the attention it deserves because if I was able to do all these at my current capacity, what more if I give it priority?  Maybe you don’t need to give something up, you just need to embrace what is given. If it allows you to do what you want continuously, it shouldn’t be a bad thing.

Maybe it’s not about achieving infamy, continuing the pursuit, or giving something up all for photography. Maybe it’s giving back to those who taught me, trusted me, and believed in me, starting with my wife and kid. All this because of my ongoing (probably autistic?) obsession with the still image. I just have to give it back in a manner that I can make a sustainable life out of this. 

It’s been a wonderful decade of reading photographs. For those who were part of this journey with me, you will always have my gratitude. Here’s to figuring it out and not giving up.

To Dan Abbe, Ox Lee, Veejay Villafranca, and Wawi Navarozza who were the first people who encouraged me to start this out, 10 years on and still here.

• A.g.

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